


Brave New World

by Winifred_Zachery



Series: Winter Awakening. [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes-centric, Confusion, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, First Kiss, M/M, Mentions of PTSD, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, OT7, Polyamory, Therapy, ace natasha, and ignoring any movie past that, assumed infidelity, pre-OT8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-07 02:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14071218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winifred_Zachery/pseuds/Winifred_Zachery
Summary: Bucky is happy to discover Steve has found happiness with Tony. He wants his friend to have the shot at love he so clearly deserves. So why the hell is the punk going around kissing Sam in broad daylight?!





	Brave New World

**Author's Note:**

> I've been meaning to write more Poly Avengers, mostly because I love so many of the guys I just can't stand the thought of one of them being unhappy. The solution is having them all be happy together!
> 
> Starring this time: Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier! Thanks, Black Panther, for this new obsession!
> 
> As I've mentioned before, I'm not a fan of het in any form and there are way too few ace characters out there, hence ace Natasha.
> 
> This work was beta'd by Nix3994 (thank you <3) and any mistakes past this point are my own.

Bucky feels normal. He had to think about it for a while, sitting in the common room, reading a book Bruce had lent him and occasionally getting up to get another cup of tea.

The feeling is still unfamiliar, he hasn’t felt like this in so long, but after contemplating the odd calmness that overcame him a few days ago, he decided to finally admit it to himself. He’s still afraid everything around him is going to shatter to pieces.

He feels normal.

The therapy is finally working. It’s not perfect. He still has nightmares more nights than not, he still feels unbalanced and out of sorts, but then there are times like this when he just feels like he can feel right living in his own skin again.

When the Avengers took him in so many months back, he wasn’t sure this was the right way to go.

No, that’s actually an understatement. They hunted him down and dragged him, literally kicking and screaming, to the tower where they’d started him on the way to recovery. 

And he’s recovered so much.

He recovered memories. While some had come flooding back ever since he’d been sent to kill Captain America, others had eluded him. There were still blank spots the size of the Pacific Ocean in his mind that he had no idea how to fill. Being wiped by Hydra again and again had taken care of any glimpses he’d managed to recover and the only thing left afterwards had been a vague sense of unease.

He’s recovered a piece of personality. The Winter Soldier wasn’t allowed a personality but that little bit of unease was the first sign that the Winter Soldier wasn’t all that was left of him. And with the slow and gradual return of his memories had come desire.

At first there were small things. Bucky had started craving apple juice. He hadn’t had any in decades. He hadn’t asked for any. He wasn’t a picky eater and ate whatever was put in front of him. The Winter Soldier hadn’t been given a lot of choices.

But Bucky had them, it’d just taken him a while to realize. 

Somebody had left a half-empty bottle of apple juice and he’d been thirsty after a run on the treadmill (he didn’t feel safe enough to go running with Sam and Steve in the park). He’d downed the whole thing and for the first time since his arrival at the tower he’d opened the fridge looking for more only to be disappointed when there wasn’t any left.

He’s now sure that the disappointment must have shown on his face or that the AI Tony has monitoring all communal spaces of the tower is especially perceptive (the Winter Soldier doesn’t show any signs of feelings, he has no feelings). Because from that moment on the fridge is always stacked with bottles of cloudy organic apple juice and nobody is complaining when he drinks it all.

Of course the omnipresent AI must have notified Tony because in the wake of Bucky re-discovering the simple pleasures of apple juice, the engineer has set out to give Bucky choices.

It starts with elaborate spreads of takeout food, so many kinds of food that at first Bucky has no idea what to choose and simply takes whatever Steve has, simply because he has no idea what all that Thai or Mexican or Vietnamese stuff even is. It’s not always good. When he first tried Indian he didn’t enjoy the mango chicken Steve seems to be so fond of and when faced with it again, he takes some of the prawn curry nobody else tries and it’s good.

It all develops from there.

Bucky learns to choose food. He learns to choose entertainment and clothes. He chooses a therapist, he chooses medication. He chooses to get better.

He chooses his friends. He chooses the Avengers.

It’s still a fight. Some days he still puts on black pants and a black shirt, eats whatever is put in front of him and sits on the sofa half paying attention to whatever program somebody else is watching on TV.

Some days he’s in a good mood. And some days he’s just in a bad mood and he learns that this is okay and normal and to be expected.

Today he feels normal and that makes his mood better.

He’s a bit disappointed when he runs out of tea, but he has an idea who to ask for more, because he refuses to drink the stuff that comes in bags which is the only kind Tony’s AI stocks for them. It tastes like sawdust soaked in water.

Bruce has the good stuff and he doesn’t mind sharing with fellow tea enthusiasts. Not that Bucky would count himself as an enthusiast, but he enjoys all the different nuances of flavors and aromas that tea can have.

So he puts aside his book and starts his mission of procuring more tea leaves.

Bucky moves towards his target quietly. He hasn’t learned yet how to be noticeable but he’s doing his best when he knows there are people around who react badly to being surprised by his sudden appearance. It’s called PTSD. Today he doesn’t bother because the other Avengers are out.

So Steve and Tony don’t acknowledge him when he comes across them on the floor Bruce shares with Tony. Another reason for that might also be that they are currently a little busy with each other.

Steve has Tony trapped against the wall with strong arms, kissing him unhurriedly, deeply, and Tony looking like he’s thoroughly enjoying being devoured.

Bucky retreats, glad that they didn’t notice him.

He’ll skip the tea.

Once he’s back in the communal kitchen he allows himself to think about what he just saw. He allows himself to be happy for Steve even though he regrets that he and Bucky never had a chance to become what they could have been before he fell from the train to what should have been his death. And he allows himself to be happy for Tony because that man deserves all the happiness, even if Bucky isn’t the one to give it to him.

With a sigh he gets a bottle of organic apple juice from the fridge and goes back to his book.

***

The next time Bucky discovers Steve kissing, this time in plain view of the common room, he is not as thrilled. Because Steve isn’t kissing Tony.

He’s kissing Sam.

Once again nobody heard him come in, but this time it’s not because he was too silent. In fact, he’s carrying two rustling plastic bags over his metal arm and that should have been enough noise to give away his presence. But Steve and Sam are so engrossed in each other that they don’t draw apart at all.

Bucky stands in the doorway for a few seconds, not sure what he’s supposed to do. Part of him wants to storm over and draw them apart and shout at Steve because what the hell does the punk think he’s doing?

Steve is with Tony so Bucky has no idea why he should be kissing Sam and in the common room too, where everybody can walk in on them.

He beats a hasty retreat, taking the bags full of groceries up to his own apartment and the kitchen he shares with Steve, but nobody ever cooks in. The groceries were ordered for the team dinner and should not go in their kitchen, but Bucky can’t bring himself to pass by the common area again.

Steve is gonna hurt Tony. And Sam. And probably himself and Bucky wants to shake some sense into him for playing the field like that.

At this point he’s tempted to ask JARVIS where Tony is and keep him from the common area so he won’t see. But then Steve would just go on with whatever he’s doing to the two of them and Bucky doesn’t actually want to make things worse.

Because he really has no idea what’s going on here. But he’s sure that he’s got to talk to Steve about this.

***

The third time Bucky doesn’t stay silent.

Because this time he catches Steve on the couch with Natasha. He’s situated comfortably on a sofa with Natasha cuddled up to his front. They’re for once not kissing but Steve’s hand is buried in Nat’s hair in a way that looks much too familiar to be anything but casual.

Both of them look up when he comes in and stands right in front of the screen.

“We gotta talk, Steve,” he declares in a tone that brooks no argument and then turns, not waiting if Steve is actually following.

Steve catches up to him in their shared kitchen.

“What’s going on, Buck?” he asks, face open and curious, giving Bucky the impression he has no idea what Bucky wants to talk about.

“So, what’s y’r deal with Natasha?”

The immediate smile on Steve’s face nearly makes him sorry he asked. It’s clear there are feelings there and Bucky is afraid what that means for the other two persons affected by Steve’s... liaisons.

Maybe Steve was just fooling around. Back in the day Captain America pulled a lot of women and no men, at least that Bucky knows of. Maybe his memory is still spotty about that, though.

“We’re together.”

There’s no hesitation in his voice and Bucky inwardly sighs.

“And Sam?”

At that Steve frowns. “Sam? What about him?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me, Stevie. I saw you two kiss just last week!” His voice comes out more like a growl and anybody else would probably feel threatened but Steve knows the signs of Bucky’s agitation too well.

Steve just gives an embarrassed laugh and rubs a hand through his hair, which infuriates Bucky and makes him push away from the counter he’s been leaning against.

“And Tony, huh? What about him?”

“Now, Buck…”

He sees the grin on Steve’s face die just as the door to their apartment opens.

“Steve?”

Bucky’s head whips around and he’s faced with Clint coming round the corner.

“I must have left my shoes last night…” His voice dies the second he notices Bucky.

Bucky turns back to steve, pointing a finger over his shoulder. “Him too?” He’s actually so outraged that he completely forgets he maybe shouldn’t tip Clint off to his lover’s cheating.

Steve, though, seems to have no such qualms. His grin turns positively impish before he opens his mouth. “And Thor.”

“Don’t forget Bruce,” Clint speaks up behind him.

At that point Bucky just stares, head turning from one to the other. Steve is sleeping with all of them?!

“Alright, what’s going on here?” Bucky finally manages to bite out. He’d suspect a prank but then Steve was never a good liar and the truth is written in his face, not that he’s trying to hide it. His smile just radiates happiness.

“Yeah, Bruce,” Steve agrees, his voice full of tenderness.

“And you’re all in on it?”

Steve and Clint share a look.

“Told you we shouldn’t try to hide it from him,” Clint shrugs and turns towards Bucky, who’s still looking back and forth between them. “We’re actually all in it together.”

At first Bucky doesn’t understand. He knows being with a person, being faithful and cheating. He understands being straight and homosexual and bisexual. But this? All of them being together? It’s a recipe for somebody to get hurt.

“How would that even work?”

“Trust, mostly. A lot of negotiation. It takes effort and understanding,” Steve starts explaining. He sounds like he’s been practicing this little explanation for a while.

“And love.” Clint adds,two simple words spoken calmly, seriously and totally changing the whole deal.

They make Steve smile and Clint answer with a smile of his own.

Both men don’t say anything else and that itself tells Bucky more than a thousand words.

Bucky doesn’t reply. He just nods once and then pushes past Clint. The need to think this over alone simply is too overwhelming.

***

end

**Author's Note:**

> I feed off your comments!
> 
> If you enjoyed this little piece of fic, come visit me on [tumblr](http://harvestingstorm.tumblr.com/)


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